CHINA CREEK PARK, August 15, 2005.
It was a fitting end to the 2005 ball season as the Sausages took on crosstown rivals Grantsta's Gangstas in what could be called a 'Subway Series'. The final score wasn't the most important thing this night -- although for the record the Sausages demolished the Gangstas 25-6 -- the most important thing was that the beer was cold and the burgers were hot after the game. In fairness to the Gangstas, they did win in the speed derby after the game, with Gan (11.51), Shun (11.89) and Aaron (12.16) having the best times. Only Satoshi "Speed" (11.65) from the Savages made the top four. Volley was confused about the speed derby, and commented "I am fast and loose, does that count?"
"We had one person on injured reserve who didn't race," said Norm! We can only guess what he meant by that. Norm! was the sentimental crowd favourite as he came out to ump this hotly contested game.
"It was a great game. You guys [Sausages] were way too good," said Ricky.
"それは大きいゲームだった。人[ ソーセージ] よい方法余りにだった," said Ricky in Japanese (you might need to download the Japanese character set to read that).
On facing Volley, his regular season teammate, Dirty Al said "I didn't know what an intimidating pitcher he was."
Highlights of the game included a grand slam by WendyK, a stellar catch by K-O, and some smoking defence by both teams -- NOT!
There was a good spirit in the game. "There's a good spirit in the game," mused T-Bag.
"When I got to play catcher tonight it was like I fulfilled my childhood dream of following in Gary Carter's shoes," said Skags.
"I got my first ball injury when I tripped over the bag at first," said Claudia.
There was some controversy over a call at second when Bernie made a 'facial tag' on Plague, who argued the call. "We had to make a statement; you can't run on the Gangstas," said Dirty Al.
After the game, tempers cooled, and as Ricky and Skaggs played some disc down by the school yard (sounds like a song), the charcoal embers of the barbecue glowed in the evening light. The only concerns were things like who put the veggie dog in the bag with the brats, and that Ricky was the first person of the night to have a triple dog. "The veggie dog was the worst mistake of the night," said Skaggs.
"The worst part was getting halfway through it before realizing it's a veggie," groaned T-Bag as he tossed the limp veggie dog over the backstop.
"A lot of people still call me Yummy," said Yumi.
WendyK made some delicious burgers and everyone enjoyed a burger and beer as a final celebration of two fun seasons of ball. Thanks to everyone who made this season fun.
- PF
Monday, August 15, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Guest Editorial
CHINA CREEK PARK, Vancouver, August 15, 2005.
By ReDD, guest writer who speaks of herself in the third person.
In the much anticipated grudge-match officially closing the season, the Gangstas are yet again duking it out with the Sausages' coaching staff. Sources close to T-Bag and Mit have confirmed that the arguing is over Redd. Not one of serious contenders for this year's MVP award (see Vancouver MVP Awards, page 8), Redd is nevertheless centred around another controversy. Sources close to Redd have vaguely hinted that since the Gangstas season is closed, that she is considering herself a free agent and is about to sign on with the Sausages for the finale. In a closed door meeting with the Sausages, T-Bag has hinted that he will significantly sweeten the deal if Redd signs on. The feisty and hot-headed captain of the Gangstas held a news conference early this afternoon and resignedly confirmed that Redd will in fact be playing with the Sausages next Monday. Some remain skeptical of Redd's choice to play with the Sausages. One critic was quoted as saying "Its obvious she's just out for glory, there's no such thing as team loyalty anymore." Redd promptly informed the critic that this person could go ahead and "FAAAAAAUUUUUUKKKK OFF AND DIE!" Another critic was overheard saying "All this harsh language has to stop. This is supposed to be a game based on solid family values." Mit & Gumby were both seen railing on the unsuspecting tard, and while Mit was her normal reserved self calling him a "FAAAAUUUUKKKING Ass*hole", Gumby disappeared with the maroon for a while. Gumby reappeared but the maroon has since failed to appear. Gumby's people are not talking. Redd is estatic as this means that T-Bag has agreed to provide a keg to quench all players's thirst. Fans will be offered a beverage coupon at the door with drink proceeds going towards the Northern BC Ostrich Riders Association.
- Redd
By ReDD, guest writer who speaks of herself in the third person.
In the much anticipated grudge-match officially closing the season, the Gangstas are yet again duking it out with the Sausages' coaching staff. Sources close to T-Bag and Mit have confirmed that the arguing is over Redd. Not one of serious contenders for this year's MVP award (see Vancouver MVP Awards, page 8), Redd is nevertheless centred around another controversy. Sources close to Redd have vaguely hinted that since the Gangstas season is closed, that she is considering herself a free agent and is about to sign on with the Sausages for the finale. In a closed door meeting with the Sausages, T-Bag has hinted that he will significantly sweeten the deal if Redd signs on. The feisty and hot-headed captain of the Gangstas held a news conference early this afternoon and resignedly confirmed that Redd will in fact be playing with the Sausages next Monday. Some remain skeptical of Redd's choice to play with the Sausages. One critic was quoted as saying "Its obvious she's just out for glory, there's no such thing as team loyalty anymore." Redd promptly informed the critic that this person could go ahead and "FAAAAAAUUUUUUKKKK OFF AND DIE!" Another critic was overheard saying "All this harsh language has to stop. This is supposed to be a game based on solid family values." Mit & Gumby were both seen railing on the unsuspecting tard, and while Mit was her normal reserved self calling him a "FAAAAUUUUKKKING Ass*hole", Gumby disappeared with the maroon for a while. Gumby reappeared but the maroon has since failed to appear. Gumby's people are not talking. Redd is estatic as this means that T-Bag has agreed to provide a keg to quench all players's thirst. Fans will be offered a beverage coupon at the door with drink proceeds going towards the Northern BC Ostrich Riders Association.
- Redd
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Pro-Am Announcement
KITSILANO, August 7, 2005. The Sausages will take on Grantsta's Gangstas in a charity game Monday, August 15, 2005 at picturesque China Creek Park. The Gangstas laid down the challenge in a press conference on August 6th, and a verbal shouting match took place between the feisty Sunny Glick of the Gangstas and T-Bag, coach of the Sausages. At one point Glick had to be retrained by her entourage of henchmen.
There will be a barbecue at the park so bring a few hot dogs or burgers and a beverage of your choice. All proceeds from the game and the concession will be donated to the interior cock-fighting league, southeast chapter.
Stay tuned for more updates.
- PF
There will be a barbecue at the park so bring a few hot dogs or burgers and a beverage of your choice. All proceeds from the game and the concession will be donated to the interior cock-fighting league, southeast chapter.
Stay tuned for more updates.
- PF
Friday, August 05, 2005
More quotes from Game 12
Editorial correction:
We seem to have left out a few quotes:
When asked whether his extreme pitching heat was due to him taking steriods, Volley bristled. "Does anyone want to test my pee?" he snarled.
ReDD was vocal about the press coverage. "People who blog about themselves are not much different than exhibitionists... except for the clothes," she said.
At one point, Shoe couldn't see Volley through the angle of the fence and announced, "Volley's so slim, when he turns sideways he disappears!"
"Damn," said T-Bag.
Mit was silent again, except for a [raspberry] directed at the reporters.
There, I think that's all of them.
- PF
We seem to have left out a few quotes:
When asked whether his extreme pitching heat was due to him taking steriods, Volley bristled. "Does anyone want to test my pee?" he snarled.
ReDD was vocal about the press coverage. "People who blog about themselves are not much different than exhibitionists... except for the clothes," she said.
At one point, Shoe couldn't see Volley through the angle of the fence and announced, "Volley's so slim, when he turns sideways he disappears!"
"Damn," said T-Bag.
Mit was silent again, except for a [raspberry] directed at the reporters.
There, I think that's all of them.
- PF
Game 12 - Glue
CHINA CREEK PARK, Vancouver, August 4, 2005.
It was billed as the "rematch of the century", a "game for the ages", a "preview of the World Series", but it didn't turn out quite that way. The underdog Sausages were up against the formidable Glue in the last game of the season, and the Glue were just too good on this night. Final score was 12 - 5 for the hometown Glue in front of 9 rabid fans and fabled China Creek Park.
The players were philosophical after the game. "I gotta take my cup out," said T-Bag.
A damper was put on the game when star centre fielder Norm! broke his wrist on a slide into third. "I felt something snap," said Norm!. Later, a drugged-up Norm! joked with reporters in the hospital, saying "I'm ready for the tournament coach.... zzzzz..."
There were some outstanding performances by Satoshi "Speed", who went 4/4 and was solid defensively, Gumby, who was 2/4 and made some nice stretches at first. "I'm like a god[zilla]" said Gumby modestly. Newcomer Kevin had a 3/4 night as he made a strong bid for a starting position next season.
When asked how he can explain to the fans that he has to take the tournament off to be with his wife, who is due with their baby, Satoshi said "This is a difficult question".
The fans reflected on their experiences during the season and one fan remembered the time Shauna asked fan Sunny Glick where her father was, referring to Aaron. To add insult to injury, it was that on that day Aaron had dyed his hair to look younger!
Mit was again silent to the reporters and even pushed a couple of cameramen and kicked one of them. She's expected to receive a 9-month suspension.
Here's the box score:
Speed 4/4
Norm! 0/1
Shoe 1/3
Gumby 2/4
Kevin 3/4
Tod 2/4
ReDD 2/4
Dirty Al 1/4
Volley 1/4
WendyK 0/3
- PF
It was billed as the "rematch of the century", a "game for the ages", a "preview of the World Series", but it didn't turn out quite that way. The underdog Sausages were up against the formidable Glue in the last game of the season, and the Glue were just too good on this night. Final score was 12 - 5 for the hometown Glue in front of 9 rabid fans and fabled China Creek Park.
The players were philosophical after the game. "I gotta take my cup out," said T-Bag.
A damper was put on the game when star centre fielder Norm! broke his wrist on a slide into third. "I felt something snap," said Norm!. Later, a drugged-up Norm! joked with reporters in the hospital, saying "I'm ready for the tournament coach.... zzzzz..."
There were some outstanding performances by Satoshi "Speed", who went 4/4 and was solid defensively, Gumby, who was 2/4 and made some nice stretches at first. "I'm like a god[zilla]" said Gumby modestly. Newcomer Kevin had a 3/4 night as he made a strong bid for a starting position next season.
When asked how he can explain to the fans that he has to take the tournament off to be with his wife, who is due with their baby, Satoshi said "This is a difficult question".
The fans reflected on their experiences during the season and one fan remembered the time Shauna asked fan Sunny Glick where her father was, referring to Aaron. To add insult to injury, it was that on that day Aaron had dyed his hair to look younger!
Mit was again silent to the reporters and even pushed a couple of cameramen and kicked one of them. She's expected to receive a 9-month suspension.
Here's the box score:
Speed 4/4
Norm! 0/1
Shoe 1/3
Gumby 2/4
Kevin 3/4
Tod 2/4
ReDD 2/4
Dirty Al 1/4
Volley 1/4
WendyK 0/3
- PF
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Next Game - August 4 at Industrial Glue
EAST VAN, Canada, August 2, 2005. The Sausages wrap up the regular season Thursday against the home Glue at beautiful China Creek Park. The last meeting of these two teams was close, and this matchup looks to be a real barn-burner. Volley, the ace of the Sausages' rotation, is expected to get the start, although coach T-Bag is not saying anything officially about it.
After last week's confidence-building win over the Spectacles, the Sausages look to build some momentum going into the playoffs.
There will be a ceremonial first pitch thrown out before the game by Mit. And the national anthem will be sung by Volley. Neither of them know about this yet.
After taking last week off to deal with the death of his cat, Shoe will be back in the lineup. "I'm disappointed that my ironman streak had to end at 10 games, but what can you do?" said Shoe from the shoe he lives in.
Get there early to watch the batting practice, because this one will probably be sold out, just like last game. Game time 6:30.
-PF
After last week's confidence-building win over the Spectacles, the Sausages look to build some momentum going into the playoffs.
There will be a ceremonial first pitch thrown out before the game by Mit. And the national anthem will be sung by Volley. Neither of them know about this yet.
After taking last week off to deal with the death of his cat, Shoe will be back in the lineup. "I'm disappointed that my ironman streak had to end at 10 games, but what can you do?" said Shoe from the shoe he lives in.
Get there early to watch the batting practice, because this one will probably be sold out, just like last game. Game time 6:30.
-PF
Game 11 - Spectacles
MONTGOMERY PARK, July 28, 2005 (by Mit, guest writer).
Well, first of all, the Savages rocked the field against the Spectacles who had brought in a third string pitcher (both of their guys on holidays)....big fan support today too... Masako, Dot, Kenji and Satoshi's wife, Yumi. The final score was 21 to 13 for the Sausages.
"Just one of those quiet type games that could've turned ugly," said Volley.
"We really left it out there on the field," said T-Bag.
"I had no balls," moaned Dirty Al.
"I've never known Tod to have such a hard crotch!" heckled a fan who identified herself only as "Dot".
"How stupid am I, I only brought a white shirt to wear with a black bra?!" complained WendyK.
When asked if the team missed Shoe's presence on the field tonight, an person who asked to remain anonymous said "What? Wasn't he here?"
Mit refused to talk to reporters after the game, presumably still stinging from the vicious misquotes that have been hounding her since day one.
"I'm okay, don't worry about me, [I'm only the fucking lead SINGER!]" said ReDD the reliable sub, who didn't play the game tonight. Highlights included two homers, one by newcomer to the team Kevin, who dinged a beauty out to centre field in his first at bat, and another by veteran Coach, T-Bag, who banged a beauty dinger to left the following innning. T-Bag was possibly egged on by some controversy over a call at third. Volley, umping at the time, stopped the game, came out into the field, and said he could quit if the Spectacles sideline didn't pipe down. "We all do our best to ump and make the right calls," he said.
Everybody batted well. A bit of unsteady fielding by the Spectacles allowed a few of the 'on bases', but that's part of the game isn't it? Miwa had a couple of beauty stretches at first to snag the low balls and get the outs!
Box score:
Satoshi - 3/5 (three nice bunts to get on first)
Norman - 5/5
Miwa - 2/5
T-Bag - 5/5
Dirty Al - 3/5
Tracy - 3/5
Kevin - 5/5
Volley - 2/5
Wendy - 4/4
-mit
[Editor's note: if anyone has seen Almost Famous they may find ReDD's quote above very funny.]
Well, first of all, the Savages rocked the field against the Spectacles who had brought in a third string pitcher (both of their guys on holidays)....big fan support today too... Masako, Dot, Kenji and Satoshi's wife, Yumi. The final score was 21 to 13 for the Sausages.
"Just one of those quiet type games that could've turned ugly," said Volley.
"We really left it out there on the field," said T-Bag.
"I had no balls," moaned Dirty Al.
"I've never known Tod to have such a hard crotch!" heckled a fan who identified herself only as "Dot".
"How stupid am I, I only brought a white shirt to wear with a black bra?!" complained WendyK.
When asked if the team missed Shoe's presence on the field tonight, an person who asked to remain anonymous said "What? Wasn't he here?"
Mit refused to talk to reporters after the game, presumably still stinging from the vicious misquotes that have been hounding her since day one.
"I'm okay, don't worry about me, [I'm only the fucking lead SINGER!]" said ReDD the reliable sub, who didn't play the game tonight. Highlights included two homers, one by newcomer to the team Kevin, who dinged a beauty out to centre field in his first at bat, and another by veteran Coach, T-Bag, who banged a beauty dinger to left the following innning. T-Bag was possibly egged on by some controversy over a call at third. Volley, umping at the time, stopped the game, came out into the field, and said he could quit if the Spectacles sideline didn't pipe down. "We all do our best to ump and make the right calls," he said.
Everybody batted well. A bit of unsteady fielding by the Spectacles allowed a few of the 'on bases', but that's part of the game isn't it? Miwa had a couple of beauty stretches at first to snag the low balls and get the outs!
Box score:
Satoshi - 3/5 (three nice bunts to get on first)
Norman - 5/5
Miwa - 2/5
T-Bag - 5/5
Dirty Al - 3/5
Tracy - 3/5
Kevin - 5/5
Volley - 2/5
Wendy - 4/4
-mit
[Editor's note: if anyone has seen Almost Famous they may find ReDD's quote above very funny.]
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