GORDON PARK, Vancouver, BC, August 27, 2006. The Sausages were brimming with a well-spiced combination of pork, beef and confidence going into Sunday's play at the MHR championships. The first game was against the mighty Traders at 9:30 on the northeast diamond. The confidence of the Sausages was short-lived, as the Traders got off to an early start with a 7-run first inning, and never looked back. The Sausages tried to make a game of it by chipping away at the lead through the next few innings, but couldn't match the firepower of the Traders. Shoe got lucky with a hit and managed to use his lightning fast speed to 'grind' it into a grand 'salami'. Final score was 14-10 Traders.
In the first game of the playoffs it was the rematch with the Shirts. It was a close game, with back and forth leads, until the fifth when the Sausages broke it open with a 7-run outburst. Dirty Al had a grand salami of his own in that inning. He was also particularly fast on the base paths, stealing a number of bases in the tournament. Sources close to the team said he was on the "juice".
In the consolation final, the Sausages could not close out the Chowder, and lost by one run on a great play by their outfielder to take a hit away from Tracy. During the game there was an unfortunate play in which a bad hop caught DeedeeK in the face and forced her to leave the game. "It was like someone dropped a coconut on concrete," said Dirty Al. He continued, "after that injury we were a bit rattled and didn't really care too much about the score."
Final score was, um, well, who cares.
Box scores will be available later in the week.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Sausages make history
GORDON PARK, Vancouver, BC, August 26, 2006. The Sausages were smoked, but not cured against the Hounds in game one of the MHR league championship tournament. The Hounds won, but the Sausages made history by turning a rare triple play in the game. T-Bag caught a line drive, tagged the runner running from first to second, and then gunned out the runner trying to go from second to third on the tag-up.
"Everything happened just right," said T-Bag.
"But it wasn't an unassisted triple play," commented Dirty Al. "Show me an unassisted triple play and I might be impressed."
The final score was 10-1 for the Hounds, but everyone remembered the triple play more than the score.
In the second game of the round robin, the Sausages smeared the Spectacles without too much trouble.
In the third game, the linked ones got by the Shirts to end the Saturday with a 2-1 record.
P.F.
"Everything happened just right," said T-Bag.
"But it wasn't an unassisted triple play," commented Dirty Al. "Show me an unassisted triple play and I might be impressed."
The final score was 10-1 for the Hounds, but everyone remembered the triple play more than the score.
In the second game of the round robin, the Sausages smeared the Spectacles without too much trouble.
In the third game, the linked ones got by the Shirts to end the Saturday with a 2-1 record.
P.F.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Sausages End Season Over .500
MONTGOMERY PARK, Vancouver, BC, August 24, 2006. The Sausages leapt in celebration and the fans rushed onto the field after last night's game in which the mightly linked ones clinched their first .500 season in the MHR.
Sink pitched for the first time this year. "Hey, if Rick, the leader of the league, can slingshot then so can she," said acting coach T-Bag this morning in a telephone interview.
The smoked, cured ones are now primed and confident heading into the playoffs on Saturday at beautiful Gordon Park. "Did you see how Dirty Al got us a bye in the first game," said T-Bag. "It's a thing of beauty!"
Apparently, Dirty Al lived up to his name when he wrote a full-scale program to schedule the tournament and managed to hard-code a bye for the Savages into the system. Nice going Al!
No stats were available at press time.
PF
Sink pitched for the first time this year. "Hey, if Rick, the leader of the league, can slingshot then so can she," said acting coach T-Bag this morning in a telephone interview.
The smoked, cured ones are now primed and confident heading into the playoffs on Saturday at beautiful Gordon Park. "Did you see how Dirty Al got us a bye in the first game," said T-Bag. "It's a thing of beauty!"
Apparently, Dirty Al lived up to his name when he wrote a full-scale program to schedule the tournament and managed to hard-code a bye for the Savages into the system. Nice going Al!
No stats were available at press time.
PF
Friday, August 18, 2006
More Cowbell
Since there was no game last night, we here at the newsroom are scraping the bottom of the barrel for material. I'm sure the traffic on the Sausages blog is low, and the advertising revenues are plummeting, but what can you do when there is no Sausages game to report on? In the words of Dave Hodge "that's just how the CBC works." Speaking of CBC, did you hear BellGlobeMedia intends to outbid the CBC for the NHL broadcast rights in Canada? So CTV might be taking over HNIC (or some variation thereof) after the 2007-08 season. Something about that doesn't seem right!
But I digress. In lieu of a sports report, I want to present a little lesson in teamwork. See the link, buy the shirt, and remember: More cowbell!
Note: the clip is actually funnier if you don't have the video on, just the audio. Speaking of which, have you ever noticed that the Frasier show is funnier when you are just listening to it and not watching?
Speaking of Frasier, I just watched Inside Man last night and it was really good. Rent it. The detective played by Denzel is named Frazier ("with a zee").
PF
But I digress. In lieu of a sports report, I want to present a little lesson in teamwork. See the link, buy the shirt, and remember: More cowbell!
Note: the clip is actually funnier if you don't have the video on, just the audio. Speaking of which, have you ever noticed that the Frasier show is funnier when you are just listening to it and not watching?
Speaking of Frasier, I just watched Inside Man last night and it was really good. Rent it. The detective played by Denzel is named Frazier ("with a zee").
PF
Friday, August 11, 2006
Sausages Back to .500
MONTGOMERY PARK, Vancouver, BC August 10, 2006. The Sausages "ferreted out" their second win in a row the easy way, after the Spectacles defaulted last night's game due to insufficient players. "They are on, uh... summer holidays," said Rick, coach of the Specs.
"I think he's covering for them," said Mit. "I saw them at the bar this morning getting gooned. What I mean is, they were getting gooned, not me." Mit was seen later doing squats with T-Bag on her back.
The default win put the smoked, cured ones at 7-7 on the season with one game remaining, the first time since game two that they have been at .500.
The Sausages lent the Spectacles some players and the game went ahead on a "fun" basis, although it was anything but a "fun" game for some. "I hate it when people aren't competitive," said DeedeeK before guzzling her sixth can of Red Bull and charging out to play for the other team. Coach Shoe got into hot water for trying to bat three women in a row near the top of the order. "What was I thinking?" said Shoe. He then promptly dropped one of the women to the ninth spot.
Norm! brought his pet ferret Pepita to the game. Pepita was in mourning over the loss of her mate Pepe. "She didn't want to be alone tonight," said Norm!
After the game the players went over to M.E.M's place for a delicious and nutritious lasagne feast. Julius missed the party so Mem gave Chicken Little to Dirty Al to take home to Julius. When asked if she played poker, Mem said "I was weaned on a deck of cards." Later, after some calculated thought, she blurted out, "Im a hustler."
Mem introduced the team to her dogs Bridget and Pearl, but she didn't say what breed they are. T-Bag was speculating they were Shi-tzus and others were saying they were bulldogs. Shoe thought they might be the rare cross breed called the bull-shit.
Thanks to Mem for putting on such a great "do" for the team!
Box score:
T-Bag 3 pieces of lasagne
Shoe 3 pieces
DeedeeK 2
Dirty Al 2
Norm! 2
Speed 2
Claire 1
Collette 1
Mit 1
Mem 1
Volley 1
Yumi 1
Claudia 0.05
Kaya 0
Ewan 0
P.F.
"I think he's covering for them," said Mit. "I saw them at the bar this morning getting gooned. What I mean is, they were getting gooned, not me." Mit was seen later doing squats with T-Bag on her back.
The default win put the smoked, cured ones at 7-7 on the season with one game remaining, the first time since game two that they have been at .500.
The Sausages lent the Spectacles some players and the game went ahead on a "fun" basis, although it was anything but a "fun" game for some. "I hate it when people aren't competitive," said DeedeeK before guzzling her sixth can of Red Bull and charging out to play for the other team. Coach Shoe got into hot water for trying to bat three women in a row near the top of the order. "What was I thinking?" said Shoe. He then promptly dropped one of the women to the ninth spot.
Norm! brought his pet ferret Pepita to the game. Pepita was in mourning over the loss of her mate Pepe. "She didn't want to be alone tonight," said Norm!
After the game the players went over to M.E.M's place for a delicious and nutritious lasagne feast. Julius missed the party so Mem gave Chicken Little to Dirty Al to take home to Julius. When asked if she played poker, Mem said "I was weaned on a deck of cards." Later, after some calculated thought, she blurted out, "Im a hustler."
Mem introduced the team to her dogs Bridget and Pearl, but she didn't say what breed they are. T-Bag was speculating they were Shi-tzus and others were saying they were bulldogs. Shoe thought they might be the rare cross breed called the bull-shit.
Thanks to Mem for putting on such a great "do" for the team!
Box score:
T-Bag 3 pieces of lasagne
Shoe 3 pieces
DeedeeK 2
Dirty Al 2
Norm! 2
Speed 2
Claire 1
Collette 1
Mit 1
Mem 1
Volley 1
Yumi 1
Claudia 0.05
Kaya 0
Ewan 0
P.F.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Comments anyone?
I just turned on the "allow comments" setting, so you don't have to be a member to add a comment. Bring it on!
Also, if you are just getting the emails and not actually going to the blog at http://sausagesbaseball.blogspot.com/ then you are probably missing the pictures and stuff, so I recommend you bookmark this blog and check it every five minutes for more exciting stuff.
And if you want a friend to join the sausages baseball mailing list, they can go to Google Groups and search for sausages baseball and join there. Or, even better, I think you can invite them to join.
PF
Also, if you are just getting the emails and not actually going to the blog at http://sausagesbaseball.blogspot.com/ then you are probably missing the pictures and stuff, so I recommend you bookmark this blog and check it every five minutes for more exciting stuff.
And if you want a friend to join the sausages baseball mailing list, they can go to Google Groups and search for sausages baseball and join there. Or, even better, I think you can invite them to join.
PF
Saturday, August 05, 2006
More Sausage Trivia
This isn't really trivia, but there's a site called "SausageLinks.com" and it contains everything you ever wanted to know about sausages. Question 28 on their FAQ list is "Are Sausages healthy?" To which I would say, of course not, in fact they are dead! Unless they are covered in healthy mold or something.Here's another bit of trivia: There is actually a recording artist called Sausage. One of his songs is called "Caution Should Be Used While Driving A Motor Vehicle Or Operating Machinery" Don't bother buying it.
On a completely unrelated note, Shoe is thinking of getting some team uniforms for the sausages, and the bad news is he's looking for them at T-Shirt Hell. For those who have babies, don't look at the baby t-shirt section.
PF
Sausages Soil Shirts, Film at Eleven
MONTGOMERY PARK, Vancouver, BC, August 2, 3006. The Sausages needed some seventh inning heroics from Speed to get by the Shirts in Thursday's action. The smoke, cured ones are now 6-7 on the year after the 19-18 win.
The Sausages needed to add another right-hander to their staff, so coach Shoe gave Norm! a surprise start in this game, and Norm! delivered a solid performance. It was his first start of the year and he shook off the rust quickly, going four innings and giving up ten runs, six of them earned, but he had to settle for a no-decision. Volley took over in the 5th and held the hard-swinging shirts at bay until the Sausages took over with their bats.
The Sausages' women were outstanding, racking up 10 "hits" (a walk is not differentiated from a hit) between the three of them, including a triply by M.E. (Emmy?) and a clutch single in the last inning by WendyK. Sink was desperate to bunt, but, sadly, she never got the chance. "Give me the bunt sign Shoe!" she yelled from the batter's box. "Suicide squeeze?"
But the MVP was Satoshi, who went 5-6, made some nice plays at third base, and hit the game-winning walk-off single in the seventh. After the game, Speed said "I have my class 1 drivers licence and I'm going to get a job driving a truck now." It was as if the money from baseball was not enough!
"I think he was inspired by having Yumi watching," said Shoe. Meanwhile, unknown to the ball players, Yumi and Mit and Redd were totally ignoring the game and playing with the babies and chatting.
There was only one injury in the game, and that was in the warmup when Julius got hit in the wrist by a fly ball from that meanie Rick. Julius collapsed in a heap in left field and barely had the strength in his hand to keep score!
Box score:
Speed 5/6
Norm! 4/5
Sink 4/5
Shoe 3/5
Volley 3/5
Emmy 3/5
Dirty Al 2/5
T-Bag 2/4
WendyK 3/4
PF
The Sausages needed to add another right-hander to their staff, so coach Shoe gave Norm! a surprise start in this game, and Norm! delivered a solid performance. It was his first start of the year and he shook off the rust quickly, going four innings and giving up ten runs, six of them earned, but he had to settle for a no-decision. Volley took over in the 5th and held the hard-swinging shirts at bay until the Sausages took over with their bats.
The Sausages' women were outstanding, racking up 10 "hits" (a walk is not differentiated from a hit) between the three of them, including a triply by M.E. (Emmy?) and a clutch single in the last inning by WendyK. Sink was desperate to bunt, but, sadly, she never got the chance. "Give me the bunt sign Shoe!" she yelled from the batter's box. "Suicide squeeze?"
But the MVP was Satoshi, who went 5-6, made some nice plays at third base, and hit the game-winning walk-off single in the seventh. After the game, Speed said "I have my class 1 drivers licence and I'm going to get a job driving a truck now." It was as if the money from baseball was not enough!
"I think he was inspired by having Yumi watching," said Shoe. Meanwhile, unknown to the ball players, Yumi and Mit and Redd were totally ignoring the game and playing with the babies and chatting.
There was only one injury in the game, and that was in the warmup when Julius got hit in the wrist by a fly ball from that meanie Rick. Julius collapsed in a heap in left field and barely had the strength in his hand to keep score!
Box score:
Speed 5/6
Norm! 4/5
Sink 4/5
Shoe 3/5
Volley 3/5
Emmy 3/5
Dirty Al 2/5
T-Bag 2/4
WendyK 3/4
PF
Phil Fly is back!
Actually, Phil never left, but he couldn't write the column for a while there because he couldn't find anyone to translate his fly-writing into human language.
Anyway, let's get up to date. The Sausages played the Raiders on June 22 at Strathcona and lost a tight one by one run.
On June 29 the links played the mighty Biminis Bullies, and got thoroughly bullied en route to a 12-7 loss at Monty Park.
On July 6 the smoked cured ones slammed the Chowder 10 - 6 in front of 3 fans at beautiful China Creek Park.
On July 13, it was the rematch with the Traders, but the Sausages weren't able to equal their season-high two game winning streak, losing 9-6.
On July 20, the membraneous-skinned ones managed to eke out a 9-8 win in the last inning against the Glue, in what was probably the Sausages' best all-round performance of the year to date. Highlights included a dramatic seventh inning comeback started by Norm!, Shoe, and Volley, and finished in fine style by a sweet hit by Tracy and a game-winning sac fly by WendyK. Well done ladies!
On July 27, the resurgent White Sox took the rematch game, one that most of the Sausages felt slipped away from them.
Which brings us to the August 3 barnburner against the Shirts. See my next post for the complete wrap-up.
PF
Anyway, let's get up to date. The Sausages played the Raiders on June 22 at Strathcona and lost a tight one by one run.
On June 29 the links played the mighty Biminis Bullies, and got thoroughly bullied en route to a 12-7 loss at Monty Park.
On July 6 the smoked cured ones slammed the Chowder 10 - 6 in front of 3 fans at beautiful China Creek Park.
On July 13, it was the rematch with the Traders, but the Sausages weren't able to equal their season-high two game winning streak, losing 9-6.
On July 20, the membraneous-skinned ones managed to eke out a 9-8 win in the last inning against the Glue, in what was probably the Sausages' best all-round performance of the year to date. Highlights included a dramatic seventh inning comeback started by Norm!, Shoe, and Volley, and finished in fine style by a sweet hit by Tracy and a game-winning sac fly by WendyK. Well done ladies!
On July 27, the resurgent White Sox took the rematch game, one that most of the Sausages felt slipped away from them.
Which brings us to the August 3 barnburner against the Shirts. See my next post for the complete wrap-up.
PF
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