Guest Editorial

CHINA CREEK PARK, Vancouver, August 15, 2005.
By ReDD, guest writer who speaks of herself in the third person.
In the much anticipated grudge-match officially closing the season, the Gangstas are yet again duking it out with the Sausages' coaching staff. Sources close to T-Bag and Mit have confirmed that the arguing is over Redd. Not one of serious contenders for this year's MVP award (see Vancouver MVP Awards, page 8), Redd is nevertheless centred around another controversy. Sources close to Redd have vaguely hinted that since the Gangstas season is closed, that she is considering herself a free agent and is about to sign on with the Sausages for the finale. In a closed door meeting with the Sausages, T-Bag has hinted that he will significantly sweeten the deal if Redd signs on. The feisty and hot-headed captain of the Gangstas held a news conference early this afternoon and resignedly confirmed that Redd will in fact be playing with the Sausages next Monday. Some remain skeptical of Redd's choice to play with the Sausages. One critic was quoted as saying "Its obvious she's just out for glory, there's no such thing as team loyalty anymore." Redd promptly informed the critic that this person could go ahead and "FAAAAAAUUUUUUKKKK OFF AND DIE!" Another critic was overheard saying "All this harsh language has to stop. This is supposed to be a game based on solid family values." Mit & Gumby were both seen railing on the unsuspecting tard, and while Mit was her normal reserved self calling him a "FAAAAUUUUKKKING Ass*hole", Gumby disappeared with the maroon for a while. Gumby reappeared but the maroon has since failed to appear. Gumby's people are not talking. Redd is estatic as this means that T-Bag has agreed to provide a keg to quench all players's thirst. Fans will be offered a beverage coupon at the door with drink proceeds going towards the Northern BC Ostrich Riders Association.
- Redd