Phil Fly Stag Ends in Drunkenness

Vancouver, BC, March 24, 2007. The Ramada Inn, including its Yagger's Pub, and Brandi's Show Lounge unwittingly played host to a drunken party punctuated by foul language, obscene gestures, and gambling. It was rumoured that a Canada Customs officer was "partying and hanging around" with this gang which was composed entirely of males. The Ramada Inn's media representative would neither confirm nor deny the rumours. "We respect the privacy of our guests, otherwise how would we get big name stars to stay in our hotels and wreck the place?" said an unnamed spokesbellboy.

After binge-drinking in a room at the hotel, the group took over a back room of Yagger's and ousted a women's martini-drinkers association meeting. An unlicensed poker room was set up and the drinking continued. The atrocities didn't end there. The unruly crowd of thugs then poured out onto Pender Street and began roaming the streets in search of lewd and lascivious women. They found such women at an establishment called Brandi's.


The group's members had names like "Dirty Al", "Hambone", "Smitty", "Cereal", "Daz" and "Meat". Two of the blackguards, "Gungus", and "E-Mac" were the big poker winners, each claiming several thousand dollars in winnings.

After the group was "asked to leave" Brandi's, they continued their rampage, taking over a table at the Tsui Hang Village restaurant and remarking about the breasts of the woman at the next table.

The group finally disbanded for the night, and Hambone, Cereal, Butler, Smitty, Cunny, Dirty Al, Gungus, Kubla, Daz, E-Mac, Andy, G-Cunn, Grute, Rude, Perrs, Paulie, Meat, Rampee, and this reporter went home at 4AM. It should be added that this reporter was fucking hammered and may not remember every detail.

PF