Sausages training camp report and first game

MONTGOMERY PARK, British Columbia, May 3, 2006. The Sausages held their training camp this past week here in beautiful sunny Montgomery Park, which is about half way between Florida and Arizona. General Manager T-Bag managed to keep the core players together through astute salary negotiations. New signings included Angela Mallard (and her new cleats), Angie Wensink, a multi-sport player from the Horses volleyball team, and Mary Melloy, who survived the gruelling 0pen tryouts. Also, T-Bag and Mit "recruited" a young player called Ewan, who will need some years of development before he is ready for the MHR.
Wendy also received a new nickname over the off-season: "Dee Dee".
Mit was present for the entire training camp and as usual, had some strong words for the media: "Can't we just talk about the team and the game we have coming up on Thursday, instead of constantly rehashing the &*^&^ [incident]?" she scowled. The incident she was referring to was likely the dust-up last summer with the cameraman outside the dugout for which she was suspended 9 games. Later, she was seen wheeling a baby stroller slowly across the field...
Norm! was seen trying his hand at shortstop. "I'm a natural outfielder," he said.
Dirty Al was hitting laser-beam line drives with his new grey bat, which it is rumoured he sleeps with every night.
Volley, in between drags on a cigarette, remarked, "Thanks to this training camp, I'm in the best shape of my life!"
T-Bag was more subdued, "We only have $12 million left under our salary cap, how am I going to sign all these new players? We're going to have to raise ticket prices, it's the only way."
The team looked unprepared and out of condition for the first regular season game at China Creek Park at 6:30PM Thursday, May 4, 2006. "That's just the way we like it, having the other teams think we're unprepared," remarked T-Bag. "Now if you will excuse me I have to breast-feed my child."
Coach Shoe said "be there 30 - 45 minutes early for a good warmup and team hug."
It's gonna be an interesting season!
PF